‘Odd’. That was the verdict of a friend who has recently started working in my hometown about the denizens of Worthing. And, having witnessed the following on Saturday night, I can’t disagree.
We noticed a guy that my friend had actually pulled once, but whose behaviour made him seem increasingly less attractive as the night wore on. To start with, he had his own name tattooed down his forearm, implying that he lacked a certain faith in his long term cognitive ability.
His indecision as to what shooter to order at the bar resulted in the barmaid wearing an expression that suggested that if wishes came true there would have been a mortuary ambulance on its way to the pub.
About an hour later, he was refused service after he snorted the salt that was meant to chase his tequila slammer, then squirted lemon juice into his friend’s eye. He laughed maniacally, then squirted some into his own eye. And kept on laughing.
On the plus side, he did have a certain devil-may-care joie de vivre about him, but, in general, it was a good demonstration of why people curse the difficulty of finding decent (ie, non psychologically challenged) boy/girlfriends in this town. And it led onto a conversation about why it is that the guys level of confidence in approaching those of the female gender seems to be in completely inverse proportion to their level of attractiveness.
An antidote to our wine fuelled cynicism regarding the possibility of ever achieving a non-dysfunctional relationship came when a guy at the table next to us sent us over a bottle of wine, which until that point was something that I thought only happened in American TV shows.
We noticed a guy that my friend had actually pulled once, but whose behaviour made him seem increasingly less attractive as the night wore on. To start with, he had his own name tattooed down his forearm, implying that he lacked a certain faith in his long term cognitive ability.
His indecision as to what shooter to order at the bar resulted in the barmaid wearing an expression that suggested that if wishes came true there would have been a mortuary ambulance on its way to the pub.
About an hour later, he was refused service after he snorted the salt that was meant to chase his tequila slammer, then squirted lemon juice into his friend’s eye. He laughed maniacally, then squirted some into his own eye. And kept on laughing.
On the plus side, he did have a certain devil-may-care joie de vivre about him, but, in general, it was a good demonstration of why people curse the difficulty of finding decent (ie, non psychologically challenged) boy/girlfriends in this town. And it led onto a conversation about why it is that the guys level of confidence in approaching those of the female gender seems to be in completely inverse proportion to their level of attractiveness.
An antidote to our wine fuelled cynicism regarding the possibility of ever achieving a non-dysfunctional relationship came when a guy at the table next to us sent us over a bottle of wine, which until that point was something that I thought only happened in American TV shows.
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I don't suppose there are many things which would make one glad to be growing older - but this post makes me relieved to be beyond that particular stage in life.
ReplyDeleteNot that anyone has ever sent a bottle of wine to my table - and I think I might be completely unnerved and nervous of what might happen next if they did!
But your photo at the top of this post - well, that is very beautiful and the image something to aspire to. (One day!)
Hmmmm....the salt snorter sounds like what i'd call a proper radge. Not at all good.
ReplyDeleteIn defence of Worthing, the couple camping next to us at T in the Park live there and they were what i'd call proper barry gadgies. Very good.
Funny commentary on the eligible males no girl in her right mind would consider!
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could take up ballroom dancing?
ReplyDelete3c - my friend (who I need to give a blog name as otherwise it sounds like I'm some crazy going to pubs by myself) went over to thank him and then he came and chatted with us for about half an hour. He wasn't really either of our types, but he was sweet, and sane. Ha! Too true, methinks.
ReplyDeletenaldo - they get everywhere, I just feel worthing has a particularly high proportion!
janie - well, if you didn't laugh...
pat - some of my friends went to salsa classes, but it was overstuffed with horrifically sleazy men. (we're hard to please)
First of all, the photo was a great pleasure to look at. Found your post interesting. Just when I had given up on men because all the 'good' ones seemed to be taken, my own dropped into my life out of the blue.
ReplyDelete