This is kind of self explanatory, but seeing as I hate to even come close to under explaining things, I will now expound fulsomely about why I won't be expounding fulsomely.
This blog started out because I was bored one Saturday afternoon. It didn't have a plan and it didn't really need one, because I had lots of random things that I could write about without getting overly personal. Then I came home. And I started wanting to write more honestly. But because I'd given this site out to people in my life who I'm extremely uncomfortable being emotionally honest with and because I somehow swallowed a whole bunch of 'shoulds' about what you should write on a blog, I kept writing posts that skirted the truth, that were the equivalent of going 'look, there's a sparrow' when two elephant's are copulating in front you.
And the result is that I've come to despise the majority of stuff I've posted here. I'm not being honest, and have managed to create a situation where I'm being a heavily edited version of myself with the entire internet as well as the majority of people I know. Fucking awesome. Which is probably the first time I've sworn on this blog, because although I swear quite frequently in real life, I don't do it here because I think then people wouldn't like me. Why would I want people to read my blog who would hate me if they met me?
So I'm going to work out what I want to write about, find myself a space to do that is actually for myself and not whichever flavour of the month I think I should be, and then, I'll be back.
Posts
God loves all children!
12 hours ago
Oh J, I do hope you come back. Everyone needs a hiatus from time to time. And you are honest to say so. Good luck on the search. You will be missed.
ReplyDeleteKathleen
I've been trying to do the same, be more honest, go a little deeper, but still scary out there in "public." I've been known to use the "f" word once or twice but never on my blog! Good luck figuring out what you want to write about!
ReplyDeleteI hope you come back - and I hope you feel you can be yourself, this is your space, after all.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your return because I do enjoy reading what you write.
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck and strength in transforming your self-expression from being "occasionally" J to being the more authentic full-time J.
ReplyDeleteThanks. :)
ReplyDeleteGo for it, girl!
ReplyDeleteEasy for me to say cos some reckon i lack self respect, but fuck what your readers might think.
I look forward to your return and, in the meantime, be good to yourself.
I thought you were doing pretty well there already, but I understand about issues related to what one reveals about oneself, or not, on a blog... one can quickly have doubts... although I think I prefer the elephant copulation scenes rather than the sparrow distractions... in fact I took some pictures of two dogs copulating while on vacation recently, and am debating whether I should post them or not... personally I think they're fairly funny photos, but I'm not sure everyone would agree... I guess in the end one has to blog for oneself, and damn the torpedoes... good luck reaching a ground you feel comfortable standing and writing on...
ReplyDeleteIt's the only way to do it...hope to see you back soon, though :)
ReplyDeleteDon't want to lose touch. I see you have a Twitter star. I've just joined Twitter and am still trying to fathom it. How do I find you there?
ReplyDeleteLucy
Wow, I've been gone for a while but here I am back and you're not. Wish I had popped in earlier but I get so far behind and I am always trying to catch up. I have truly enjoyed your posts and hope it won't be too much longer before you get back on here. I'll keep checking back. In the meantime I hope all is going well with you and that you have a great spring and summer.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading more of you once you're back!
ReplyDeletewaiting for new post
ReplyDeleteHay I have just followed your blog I send you hugs from Wem
ReplyDeleteBravo!
ReplyDelete