Weekend Fun

Today I was meant to be going to a regional publicity meeting for Samaritans, the charity that I volunteer for. Unfortunately, I’m ill. Again. Since the middle of August, I seem to have had one cold or virus after another. I’ve been left feeling completely drained and exhausted – a quick trip to the supermarket earlier left me feeling bone tired.

I had to cancel my attendance at the meeting. I felt really bad doing it, as I think it would’ve been very useful, and I’m a bit worried that it won’t give a great impression to the Regional Publicity Officer. But, I know from bitter experience that pushing too hard will only make the situation a lot worse in the long run, so I’ve spent most of my weekend snuggled up reading or watching low TV.

This afternoon though, I broke open Photoshop to design some new adverts that I’ll send out to local media. It was quite a challenge, as I had to pore over the old and new branding guidelines, to create something that can be easily read and understood by as many people as possible, even when it’s quite small.

This is my first attempt, which has been sent out to be our Christmas advert:

Miss Mentor

Every final year student in my high school is assigned a mentor, and had my first ever mentoring session today. I was torn between a ‘I hope I do this right and don’t inadvertently screw up this boy’s life’ first time nerves, and bleak amusement at the idea that me, of all people, was going to sit down and advise someone on what to do with their lives.

It went surprisingly well, and, for the first time since I started this job, I actually left the school feeling like I might have done something worthwhile. It was so good to sit down and talk to and get to know a student, reminding me of what I miss about teaching in China.

Even better was working out a plan together to help him solve a couple of problems he was having with his work, and resolving quite a major anxiety he had about one subject. His thanks at the end went straight to my heart, and I felt the powerful jolt of be recognised as and recognising a full human being rather than another fleeting, one-dimensional face.

I also realised that maybe I need to mentor myself. I know this is in serious danger of tipping into a swamp of ‘self-help’ clichés, but… I’m very good at deciding that what I want is quite ridiculous and impossible, before I’ve even admitted to myself that I want it, let alone tried to work out how I could go about getting it.

It doesn’t help that the last few months have meant that timeworn insecurities have resurfaced, knocking my confidence and faith in myself back down like a practiced prize fighter. I need to start assessing myself realistically, and stop chasing suitable chimeras – things that I will fail at, because I have no real desire or passion for them, that only reinforce the voice in my head that says ‘Don’t even think about, save yourself the disappointment, it’s not worth the time just to fail’.

As I was congratulating my student on his achievements, I realised that had these been my GCSE grades, I would’ve considered myself a complete failure. Leaving aside any differences in ability, why can’t I treat myself like I treat other people. Talking to a friend or student, I would never obsess on their weakest point, blowing it up until it eclipsed everything else. But yet I seem to find that a reasonable way to treat myself, and then I wonder why I end up frozen with self doubt.

I need to follow my own advice, and set some targets, and actually do them rather than just thinking about it, see what I can do.

Doorways: Dog Days

Ok, so there's no actual doorway seen, but this is the view through the doorway of the pier amusement arcade. It's something that I cast my eye over without really seeing, until my brain processed the unusual addition of the toy spaniel.

I wondered if he'd been selling the family valuables to fuel his addiction to the penny pushing machines, although it must be terribly difficult operating the button with paws... I hope at least the attendant provides him with some steps, and perhaps let him swop his winnings for dog chews.


I couldn't really decide whether I liked this best in b+w or colour, what do you think?

The Power of Photography

I wasn’t sure what to expect from a photographic talk about Rwanda, given by Gail Ward, although I was prepared for it to be grim. I remember it as gruesome slivers seen on the news and I’ve become familiar with articles in the weekend magazines of broadsheet newspapers, the brutalised bodies of survivors illustrating horrific stories. I once went to a lecture on forensic archaeology, given by someone who had investigated the Rwandan genocide, where 30 or 40 people struggled not to throw up.

Instead of having me despairing, I was surprised to find myself uplifted. The focus was on business opportunities being developed so that women can support themselves and their children (there is a population imbalance as a result of the genocide) and shelters for street children, which give them the basics to survive and skills to support themselves as adults.

Seeing the teenagers from the shelter bursting with life and energy as they danced, radiating hope and joy in the moment , despite their poverty and either having run away from difficult family situation or been abandoned, was inspiring.

My favourite story was that of a young woman, who’d been taken in by the shelter and had become a skilled sewer. She sat at her market stall, beaming with self-sufficient pride over her sewing machine. I recommend checking these photographs out on her website.

Photography can be enormously powerful, and whilst it’s often photos of people that can change other’s perspectives and create support for humanitarian projects, Gail Ward is currently running a project where children in a Moroccan mountain village will use photography to directly enrich their own community. They will be given cameras, and the photographs they produce will be sold as postcards, cards and books, with the proceeds going to their schools.

If, like me, your old film camera has languished unused in a drawer since you went digital, this is the perfect opportunity to let it finish its life by helping these children develop skills and support their communities. These communities don’t have electricity or running water, so for the moment the project only uses film cameras, preferably compacts. They also need film and batteries.

If you can help these children help themselves and their communities, then contact Gail, on: info[@]gailwardphotography[dot]co[dot]uk , or visit the project’s Facebook page.

Interesting glimpses at MyWorld.

photo credit and copywright Gail Ward, 2009.

Through a Garden Darkly

I have a weakness for photographing roses, but my photographs were all coming out rather samey and, honestly, a little bit boring. By speeding up the shutter it all became darker and more interesting. It seemed a suitable treatment for the last rose of autumn.

Woken this morning by the first storm of the year, I’m glad I managed to capture those last lingering coat free days before winter!

Good Times in the Big Smoke

These are the results of some headshots I did for my cousin, who’s getting into acting. We shot these after scarfing down a delicious take out lunch from a small vegetarian and vegan place on the Portobello Road. I was a vegetarian for six or so years, but this is still the only food I’ve ever had that can make me understand how anyone could be vegan for more than three days without breaking down and running amok at a cheese counter.

Having picked our way around the window shopping tourists littering Portobello Road, my cousin took me on a tour of his old stomping ground. We took in some advertising installations for MuTATE Britain, a skate park, where tried rather unsuccessfully to shoot some action photos, and a selection of tatty graffiti. I couldn’t resist the contrast between the faded Mars awning and the bright tags on the shutter.


Or the escaped from an interwar comic book pub sign.

The rest of the day was spent just chilling out and eating delicious food, and it really was the perfect balm for my soul.

Sarf Coast

Like many seaside towns, Worthing sports a pier, and on the end of that pier sports a nightclub. Having been a regular for years, I haven't been know for at least a year and half. Obviously that's partially due to having spent a significant portion of that time in Asia, but what really vexed me last time I went here was, when we stepped outside to get some air and have a chat, as we'd been doing for about nine years, we were corralled into a tiny roped off area along this window. Once we's wedged ourselves into the crowd, we had to dodge cigarette's being waved around with drunken abandon and were jostled and foot trodden on more than we had been inside. That was the point were I thought 'I am too old for this'.

This reflection of the suburban south coast in the blacked out windows caught my eye, even if I did have to stand an extreme angle to get it 'just right', which annoyingly means that I get stuck with underside of the balcony in one corner.

By the way, this photo looks much better enlarged!

Skywatch Friday