Good Times in the Big Smoke

These are the results of some headshots I did for my cousin, who’s getting into acting. We shot these after scarfing down a delicious take out lunch from a small vegetarian and vegan place on the Portobello Road. I was a vegetarian for six or so years, but this is still the only food I’ve ever had that can make me understand how anyone could be vegan for more than three days without breaking down and running amok at a cheese counter.

Having picked our way around the window shopping tourists littering Portobello Road, my cousin took me on a tour of his old stomping ground. We took in some advertising installations for MuTATE Britain, a skate park, where tried rather unsuccessfully to shoot some action photos, and a selection of tatty graffiti. I couldn’t resist the contrast between the faded Mars awning and the bright tags on the shutter.


Or the escaped from an interwar comic book pub sign.

The rest of the day was spent just chilling out and eating delicious food, and it really was the perfect balm for my soul.

Sarf Coast

Like many seaside towns, Worthing sports a pier, and on the end of that pier sports a nightclub. Having been a regular for years, I haven't been know for at least a year and half. Obviously that's partially due to having spent a significant portion of that time in Asia, but what really vexed me last time I went here was, when we stepped outside to get some air and have a chat, as we'd been doing for about nine years, we were corralled into a tiny roped off area along this window. Once we's wedged ourselves into the crowd, we had to dodge cigarette's being waved around with drunken abandon and were jostled and foot trodden on more than we had been inside. That was the point were I thought 'I am too old for this'.

This reflection of the suburban south coast in the blacked out windows caught my eye, even if I did have to stand an extreme angle to get it 'just right', which annoyingly means that I get stuck with underside of the balcony in one corner.

By the way, this photo looks much better enlarged!

Skywatch Friday

Doorways: Dolphin Cottage

As I got ready to photograph this rather striking doorway, in an otherwise somewhat rundown street, a couple in their fifties stopped so they didn’t intrude onto my shot. Knowing my propensity for fiddling around with different settings, I said something like ‘come by, it’s no trouble, I might be awhile’.

There was then a minute of British ‘no, no really, it’s no trouble’ on both sides, to the point where I just wanted to say, actually, it makes me quite uncomfortable having two people standing and staring at me whilst I’m trying to take a photo.

Although obviously, not as uncomfortable as it would’ve done before I went to China.

After this polite agonising the couple went to walk past me, and the man asked what I was photographing. ‘What do you want to do that for,’ was his response. His wife then made a spirited defence of the merits of the door as a photographic subject, and, standing right in front of me, they had a self-contained, but rather heated, argument about this.

I had a few minutes of thinking, ‘well, this isn’t a situation you find covered in photography books’ and feeling exceptionally awkward, before they moved off without acknowledging me.

So far, I’m feeling that this incident sums up my week: things almost go right, and then…

Photo Fishing

If you’re peckish, Worthing beach offers you a choice between ice cream and raw fish. Not a sushi bar, but fish from the independent fishermen who sell their catch from stalls next to where they land their boats. For me, indifferent to the pleasures of piscine dishes, the fishing ephemera offered a suitably engrossing photographic subject.



On a wonderfully sunny afternoon, the winches, buoys and nets gave me a good opportunity to experiment with the manual settings on my camera, and I happily lost myself amongst apertures and exposures. Contemplating a photograph you are proud of is satisfying, but what I love about photography is the way that it offers me a sense of peace, a complete absorption in what I’m doing that drowns out my mental background noise.

Worlds shared

Just Looking

Yesterday I hung my first ever photography exhibition. It might be at the main library rather than a gallery, but I still had to audition (is that really the best word? would perhaps 'videtion' be better? that from the Latin videre 'to see' rather than audire ' to listen'. Yes, I am a geek AND rambling off point) to get a spot, and the person in charge of exhibtions liked my work so much that she offered me two dates, rather than the one I originally asked for.

It was slightly strange but definitely good to see my photographs, framed and mounted, hanging on the wall. Even more importantly, people were actually, definitely stopping to look at them. I think the word I'm searching for is fulfilling.

Emotionally Honest

I’ve realised that I haven’t written much over the last few weeks. Although this week I can blame last weekend’s cold, which has developed into a delightful chest and sinus infection, I know that there is another reason. It’s one that I have been so busy avoiding that every time I sit down to write one something else, I’m so busy pushing it out of my mind that there’s no energy left to write about everything else.

Simply, I am very unhappy.

There, I said it. Just by saying it out loud makes me feel a tiny bit better, as then it becomes an acknowledged problem to be addressed rather than a dark shadow I’m trying to pretend isn’t there.

The source of the problem? The job that, in the summer, I was looking forward to starting. The proverbial alarm bells started ringing on my first day when I was told variously that ‘my job was simply to survive’, it was ‘the worst job in the school’ and that I was ‘at the bottom of the hierarchy’ and the kids would treat me accordingly.

Over the last two months, these cheery snippets advice seem, if anything, to have been erring on the positive side. I’ve tried telling myself that there’s a recession and I’m lucky to have a job at all, but, unsurprisingly, this has only made me feel more trapped and miserable.

I’ve felt my enthusiasm for working on learning web design, taking photographs, meeting my friends and my voluntary work fade away too. Things that would normally make me feel proud and excited, like being told I’m doing an excellent job with my voluntary work and the photography exhibition that I’ve snagged for the next two weeks and am putting up today, barely lift my mood for a second.

I need my life back.

Autumn Sky

Skywatch Friday.